What’s Not to Love in a Pile of Dishes?
The short answer? Not much, but let’s dive in as to why that may not necessarily be the case. First, some context. It’s almost midnight here on the east coast and my teenage girls were making holiday cookies earlier this evening while Alexa was belting Christmas carols. It was indeed a festive scene and mood as I periodically passed through the kitchen, checking on progress, but more importantly, wondering when the final product might be ready for consumption!
Festive feelings aside, competing priorities such as finalizing a work presentation and taking the dog out for a walk demanded my attention. With those tasks completed and the calming quiet replacing the earlier clinging of pots and pans, I ascended to the main level to find a literal mountain of dishes in the sink! I looked around like Vince Vaughn in one of his “brat pack” movies as if I were being punked! “Is this for real?” I thought as my expectation was to find cooking utensils stowed away and a nice container of cookies on the counter awaiting my, uh hum, sampling. However, the proverbial curve ball had been thrown as I gazed upon the Mt. McKinley of dishes.
“So, what to do?” I pondered and of course the first thought was to take a picture, text it to my girls and ask, “are you kidding me?” I haven’t yet received an answer as holiday cookie baking and the mere thought of having to wash those dishes has them fast asleep.
The question of what to do remained and I thought, “I’m going to do those dishes!” Now, you may say, “what a nice dad!” and I am that, but you might also say, “what a sucker!” and I am that too. So, why do the dishes? Well, as one of the kindest individuals in the history of humankind, the great Vietnamese Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “wash the dishes to wash to the dishes.” “Well, what the heck does that mean?” you might ask and it’s a good question. Prior to beginning a mindfulness and meditation practice, I had heard that quote and didn’t quite grasp it either, but that changed upon learning of how Jon Kabat-Zinn, Founder of the mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program defined mindfulness. Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness is to be “fully present and aware without judgement.”
Now, you may wonder, “hold on Chris, your first three paragraphs are straight up judgmental. What gives?” First, you are correct. The first three paragraphs are indeed judgmental because judgement comes from the ego. The same ego that along with judgement, loves drama, conflict, criticism, comparison, and chaos. However, when we invest ourselves in the doing, without judgement, without blame, without comparison, we go beyond our egoic or separate selves and place ourselves in the now, and when in the now there is nothing but peace, love, and happiness. I challenge anyone reading this article to be fully present and aware without judgement in any given moment and let me know if you experience anything but complete peace, love, and happiness!
So, I took Thich Nhat Hahn’s advice, quite literally in this instance, and washed the dishes to wash the dishes, without judgement of course and it was a peaceful experience. That said, I am now back in the egoic world and there is a such thing as responsibility, so of course the message will be delivered to my girls that they cannot leave a pile of dishes in the sink and have them just magically disappear moving forward. I also will be on a seek and devour mission for those cookies as I feel I’m owed at least a couple, don’t you think?
As we head into the holiday season, I wish everyone a joyous, safe, happy, and healthy holiday and New Year. If you do find yourself in a stressful family situation, remember to be fully present and aware without judgement and to do the dishes to do the dishes. You might just like it, in fact I know you will!
